Welcome to the first edition of "Leading Off." Originally envisioned by our own Danny Nicklin, this quick-hitting post breaks down the headlines from one of our favorite sports media outlets.

On tap today, ESPN.com (as of 1:00 PM, 3/23/09):

• 'Zero regrets:' Schilling blogs his retirement
Oh, what a sign of the times. No tear-filled, Favre-esque press conference for Curt Schilling. The 42-year-old announced Monday that he was "hanging them up" via the blogosphere. At least now he'll have more time to spend blogging about whatever it is that Curt Schilling blogs about.
 
• Lance breaks collarbone in race, hospitalized
Really, ESPN? It doesn't take Stephania Bell to know that a broken collarbone will land you in the hospital. Oh, and which "Lance" are we talking about? I assume Armstrong... or has he dropped the last name altogether, like Cher.
 
• T.O. skips start of Bills' conditioning program
Wouldn't be a day in sports without an update on T.O. I've got a feeling that had Owens shown up for conditioning, we have gotten a story about that too.

• A-Rod progressing in rehab for hip
Just as oft-covered as T.O., there's A-Rod. There's something about hip injuries that makes me think of old folks... like this story is from 40 years in the future -- when ESPN will still be following around a 70-year-old A-Rod.
 
• U.S. eliminated from WBC by Japan
I'll play grammar geek with this one: Shame on you, ESPN, for using passive voice in a headline. The correct, active-voice version of this sentence would read, "Japan eliminates U.S. from WBC."

• Derby winner Lil E. Tee euthanized at age 20
Ah, horse racing, the Sport of Kings... or is that polo? Anywho, nothing seems more out-of-place in this list than this headline. I had to click on it just to make sure "Lil E. Tee" wasn't a hip-hop artist.

What do you guys think of "Leading Off"? Thumbs up or down? See any other funny headlines lately?