Just because I want Michael Vick on my fantasy team doesn't mean that I want to kill your dog. And 5 other things you need to know for the upcoming football season:

It's here. Summer is waning, which in certain parts of the country means it's still "punch-you-in-the-face" hot and in others, means that the mildest flavors of the fall have already arrived... but the "Mom Nature" season might not so much be an indicator to the "other" season at hand (and by "other season" I don't mean ABC's new lineup of hit programming, featuring another surefire funny season of Eight Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter on Tuesday nights ...you're welcome ABC...pay me), as the kick-off of America's new pastime may indicate that it's time to put away the surf boards and tennis rackets on the weekend, replace the sangria with a Coors Banquet Beer (that's the new name for Coors Original if you ain't up on it...you're welcome, too, Coors...do as I instructed ABC), and sit down to watch key division rivalries with playoff implications.

But before the reader does so, there are some key elements to understand about the season not necessarily "X's and O's" knowledge, rather, knowledge of the smaller concepts that will make up the bigger ideas in the 2009 football season. This is "cocktail party" knowledge; worthwhile side notes about the big picture... and don't worry, there's not a word about Brett Favre.
 

1) Vick's back... and no one cares

This paragraph was originally going to start with the following: "Michael Vick can still play. He's going to play... and there is nothing you can do about it. The guy has gone to prison and served his time and the company he applied for a job with happens to hire felons. Get over it."

I don't know that the above in necessary anymore, as it seems that most people have "gotten over it." Not only because PETA activists have an attention span about as short as the marmots they're trying to protect (due to there always being a whale or grasshopper save somewhere in the world... or a lady wearing a mink coat to throw ketchup... errr... blood on), but because the people that genuinely give a shit about what Michael Vick did to the point of thinking two years in federal prison wasn't a severe enough punishment don't genuinely care about football.

Green Peace'rs don't buy jersey's, they don't play Madden Football, and they aren't season ticket holders (mostly because there are no foods made of granola at NFL concession stands, but also because NFL souvenir shops offer no items made of hemp); they have no financial influence, so they have no voice with the NFL. 

You wanna talk redemption? Eagles fans can no go online and buy THEIR DOG a Michael Vick Jersey. Check it: http://www.mahalo.com/michael-vick-dog-jersey

One more thing about Green Peace'rs:  they don't play fantasy football. So go ahead and name your team Bad News Kennels.
 

2) The Two Best QBs in Colorado aren't on the Broncos

The Denver Broncos are going to struggle this year for many reasons. One of those reasons being lack of solid starter at quarterback. Kyle Orton has looked questionable at best and Chris Simms is exactly what he has always been, a very serviceable backup... and both of the aforementioned signal callers are head and rotator cuffs above rookie Tom Brandstater, who may very likely start in week one at Cincinnati. Even if Kyle gets healthy, Denver could be watching Orton Hears a Boo every Sunday.

But never fear, Mile High City, there are two signal callers in town with excellent pedigrees. They don't reside in Boulder, Fort Collins, or Colorado Springs, but right downtown in Coors Field. Rockies future Hall of Fame first baseman Todd Helton backed-up current Colts future Hall of Fame quarterback, Peyton Manning and Rockies red-hot-as-of-late outfielder, Seth Smith, backed up Peyton's little brother, Eli, under center at Ole Miss (another side note, Duke head coach David Cutcliffe was Helton's QB coach at Tennessee and Smith's head coach at Ole Miss).

If the soon to be QB catastrophe in the mountains were a math problem, I would use the "Matt Castle backed-up Matt Leinart at USC but is a way better pro than him" theorem to solve this problem and get Helton on the phone pronto. The Rockies have been on to this whole QB-makes-a-good-player thing for a while. Back in the year 2000 they used the 887th pick in the MLB draft to draft a 20-year-old kid who hadn't played baseball since the 8th grade. His name was Michael Vick. Beats the hell out of Money Ball... eat your heart out Billy Bean.
 

3) Donavon McNabb will implode

Yes, Donavon McNabb is the Rodney Dangerfield of football. He's captained the closest thing to a dynasty in football this decade not named "Patriots" or "Steelers" and is still surrounded by trade rumors each year.

He came out looking like a good guy after TO-Gate, but has voiced discontent in some way, shape or form every season since, culminating with pregame comments regarding a trade on the morning of a key divisional game last year against Dallas and a myriad of shots at the Philly front office this year about personnel moves that DID NOT involve him.

From the moment Michael Vick was signed, there have been reports of an unhappy McNabb, and he's made comments that sounded gruff at-best regarding new the offensive options that Vick brings with him. McNabb is turning out to be a bit of an attention whore; An offense featuring Vick, Brian Westbrook, DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, and LeSean McCoy, could lead to a McNabb meltdown, even if the Eagles are as successful as some are anticipating. Vick knows he has no room for error and will be nothing short of exemplary with the media... American could see a whole different side of the Campbell's Soup spokesman. Maybe TO wasn't so crazy after all... wait, ya he was.. but anyway.
 

4) Omar Epps is the Best Athlete of All-Time

As Darnell Jefferson, he was a high school All-American tailback and started as a freshman at ESU in The Program. As Willie May Hayes, he was a terror on the base paths, in the field and with his bat for the Cleveland Indians in Major League II. And he even played for the Lakers as Quinc McCall in Love and Basketball... and he ALWAYS got the girl. In his latest role Omar Epps stars as Mike Tomlin, the Super Bowl\-winning coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers.
 

5) Character Matters... but not as much as your inner circle

Absolutely, character plays a factor in one's successes and failures in the NFL. For proof one needs to look no further than the Patriots and Colt's franchises, two of the most successful of the last decade and two that are known to take into account character as part of a potential draft picks evaluation, the same as they consider bench press and 40-yard dash time.

Now teams don't have to be full of Tim Tebows, but they have to have enough leaders around them to run things, and influence the other players who may not have as strong of a "leadership gene." On the contrary, a guy doesn't have to be a "team cancer" to implode when he's stuck in a bad locker room. Case in point: Randy Moss in Oakland vs. Randy Moss in New England.

The above concept weighs heavy for two rookies this year:
49ers all-world receiver Michael Crabtree, the lone hold out of the '09 draft. San Francisco's locker room isn't the issue here. Crabtree's college roommate was booted from the Texas Tech football team for selling cocaine last season. Midway through Crabtree's hold out, his cousin (yes, his cousin), not his agent, told the media that Crabtree was willing to sit out the entire 2009 season and re-enter the draft. The last guy who tried that was Kelly Stouffer. If you're asking "who," then you realize how good of an idea that was for Mr. Stouffer. It's no wonder that teams wondered about the influence Crabtree's inner circle on his life choices.

Offensive lineman Andre Smith is a whole 'nother can of worms.  Smith, projected by some as the number one overall pick in the 2009 draft, inexplicably left the NFL combine last spring. He later told the media that he didn't know it was a big deal until he saw on TV that people were upset. In an attempt to make right, Smith then held a workout of his own in Alabama, where the 6'4, 335-pounder thought it best to run his 40-yard dash topless in his own version of "Andre Gone Wild." I've dated girls with smaller cans than him.

All of this raises the question: Who is advising this kid? Doesn't anyone care about him?
With an advisory team slightly smarter Forrest Gump, you would think the kid had it rough enough, but then he gets drafted by... the Bengals? The Bengals have enough arrests on there team to fill a full episode of cops. Adding Andre Smith to this crew will turn out about as well as a Passover Festival at Mel Gibson's house.
 

6) Coaching-tree influence should stop with philosophies

Take the hoody off, Josh McDaniels. You don't see Nick Saban wearing a Bear Bryant hat.