The first name in second reads.
Clayton's Mailbox: Vol. 1
Infidelity, Chmura and Balloon Boy: C.L. answers
The Checkdown's resident rambler, Clayton Lovett, answers questions from a few pups who conjured queries worthy of a response.
This Steve Phillips stuff sure is crazy. What are your thoughts regarding infidelity?
-Ryan
Denver, CO
Ryan,
I think Steve Phillips should be embarassed, ashamed and humiliated. Did you see that girl (her name is Brooke Hundley)? DISGUSTING! What the hell was he thinking?! Rosie O'Donnell thinks this chick is ugly! When I heard that Steve Phillips was caught having an affair witha 22-year-old intern, I envisioned him romping around on the SportsCenter anchor desk with an Erin Andrews or Rachel Nichols-in-waiting. I didn't picture him getting up in Shrek.
If there were any reason for Phillips to deny this, it's for the sake of the reputation of his taste in women. There will be no high-fives in Bristol for this sexual conquest. If I were ESPN, I'd fire him on the grounds of "being gross."
Wanna induce vomiting? Read the letter that this bat-shit crazy woman, wrote to Phillips' poor wife, Marni... and then picture Steve and Kathy Bates, Jr. going at it.
Happy barfing,
- C.L.
I was at Lambeau field over the weekend for the Pack-Lions contest and spied a cornucopia of Mark Chmura Jerseys, but 'Chewy' retired after the 1999, what's the infatuation with him?
-Patrick
Indianapolis, Indiana
Patrick,
Maybe it's because Chmura was a career-long Packer. It could be because Chmura won a Super Bowl with Green Bay in 1997; Or maybe he's getting love from the Pack faithful for the three Pro Bowls. Those are all good reasons...
It could also be that people think it's awesome that he (allegedly) "put his money where his mouth is" in those conversations that sleeze-ball dads have, where they speculate about "the things I'd do to our babysitter." In 2000, Chmura was charged with having inappropriate sexual contact with the 17-year-old babysitter of his children....
I wish I would have know that the "Do you have any pro bowl tight end in you?...Want some?" pick-up line was such a winner during my high school years. I could have stopped lying about being All-State.
- C.L.
How did you know that the incident involving Falcon Heene, Balloon Boy, was hoax before the police? You must be quite the gum-shoe.
-Josh
Omaha, Nebraska
Josh,
Thanks for the compliment, but my sleuthing may not be as amazing as you make it out to be. It's quite simple, really. Just do what Ron Jaworski does; Watch the tape. Falcon's dad, Richard Heene, makes a fatal mistake at the very end of the film. He kicks air. Only in movies do people kick the air in anger. NO ONE kicks air in real life. No one. Even major league managers kick the dirt in an argument with an umpire.
Falcon's story was barely believable before that balloon hit the ground, but the air-kick makes it about as believeable as Tim Tebow's virginity.
- C.L.
Is this the best touchdown celebration ever?
-Ben
Beatrice, Nebraska
Ben,
Yes.
- C.L.
Question for Clayton? Comment for the world? Get at him @ clayton.lovett@thecheckdown.com
This Steve Phillips stuff sure is crazy. What are your thoughts regarding infidelity?
-Ryan
Denver, CO
Ryan,
I think Steve Phillips should be embarassed, ashamed and humiliated. Did you see that girl (her name is Brooke Hundley)? DISGUSTING! What the hell was he thinking?! Rosie O'Donnell thinks this chick is ugly! When I heard that Steve Phillips was caught having an affair witha 22-year-old intern, I envisioned him romping around on the SportsCenter anchor desk with an Erin Andrews or Rachel Nichols-in-waiting. I didn't picture him getting up in Shrek.
If there were any reason for Phillips to deny this, it's for the sake of the reputation of his taste in women. There will be no high-fives in Bristol for this sexual conquest. If I were ESPN, I'd fire him on the grounds of "being gross."
Wanna induce vomiting? Read the letter that this bat-shit crazy woman, wrote to Phillips' poor wife, Marni... and then picture Steve and Kathy Bates, Jr. going at it.
Happy barfing,
- C.L.
I was at Lambeau field over the weekend for the Pack-Lions contest and spied a cornucopia of Mark Chmura Jerseys, but 'Chewy' retired after the 1999, what's the infatuation with him?
-Patrick
Indianapolis, Indiana
Patrick,
Maybe it's because Chmura was a career-long Packer. It could be because Chmura won a Super Bowl with Green Bay in 1997; Or maybe he's getting love from the Pack faithful for the three Pro Bowls. Those are all good reasons...
It could also be that people think it's awesome that he (allegedly) "put his money where his mouth is" in those conversations that sleeze-ball dads have, where they speculate about "the things I'd do to our babysitter." In 2000, Chmura was charged with having inappropriate sexual contact with the 17-year-old babysitter of his children....
I wish I would have know that the "Do you have any pro bowl tight end in you?...Want some?" pick-up line was such a winner during my high school years. I could have stopped lying about being All-State.
- C.L.
How did you know that the incident involving Falcon Heene, Balloon Boy, was hoax before the police? You must be quite the gum-shoe.
-Josh
Omaha, Nebraska
Josh,
Thanks for the compliment, but my sleuthing may not be as amazing as you make it out to be. It's quite simple, really. Just do what Ron Jaworski does; Watch the tape. Falcon's dad, Richard Heene, makes a fatal mistake at the very end of the film. He kicks air. Only in movies do people kick the air in anger. NO ONE kicks air in real life. No one. Even major league managers kick the dirt in an argument with an umpire.
Falcon's story was barely believable before that balloon hit the ground, but the air-kick makes it about as believeable as Tim Tebow's virginity.
- C.L.
Is this the best touchdown celebration ever?
-Ben
Beatrice, Nebraska
Ben,
Yes.
- C.L.
Question for Clayton? Comment for the world? Get at him @ clayton.lovett@thecheckdown.com
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