The Checkdown's resident rambler, Clayton Lovett, answers questions from a few pups who conjured queries worthy of a response.
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Is it just me, or is Jay Cutler the easiest quarterback to hate in the NFL since Jeff George?
 
'Ryla
Kansas City, MO
 
'Ryla,
Yes.  Jay Cutler is a piece of sh*t. The only people even close to him on the "Puck-from-the-Real-World Scale of Human Sh*ttiness" are Ryan Leaf and Kerry Collins during his alcoholic-racist-spouse-abusing days in New York.

Cutler is the easiest kind of guy to hate - He treats those around him poorly, he pout, and he thinks he freaking schweet; He's the kind of guy who when you see in the office and ask "What are you doing tonight?" he answers, "tri's and back." To top it all off, he's having a horrible season and (The Bears are 3-3. Jay has 11 TDs and 10 INTs) but just signed a 30 million dollar contract anyway; just the kind of thing that makes a guy easy to hate... he can't even produce insulin correctly. He's as easy to hate as a nude picture of Rosie O'Donnell.
 
- C.L.

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I'm a big fan of 'Lil Wayne and I know you are, too. Weezy was just busted for attempted fire arm possession and will most likely be locked up for a year after his sentencing in February. What are your thoughts? Will going to the clink ruin his career?

-Ryan
Denver, CO
 
Ryan,
Shocked? No. Dismayed? Initially, yes, but think of the sh*t Wayne'll come up with during lockdown. If Slick Rick can release an album from behind bars and Tupac can do it from beyond the grave, I think Weezy F. Baby will be just fine. His next album will be a game-changer. My only fear is that he converts to Islam - there's not that much stuff that rhymes with Jihad.

- C.L.

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Why in baseball are you a coward if you DON'T leave the dugout during a fight and in the NBA you are a thug and will face a suspension for stepping on the court?
 
-Ben
Beatrice, NE
 
Ben,
Great question. I think reason may lie in some of - or a lot - of Major League Baseball's affinity for staying in the stone age. There's no instant replay, players are allowed/encouraged to fight with one another, Jim Leyland smokes in the dugout... they still use dial up internet connections.

The other reason, I believe, is this: I would say that the percentage of dumb people at any given sporting event is pretty representative of the population. Further, I would say that the percentage of fans that are dumb is pretty similar to the percentage of athletes that are dumb. It's just that with such a large population of fans and small population of athletes, the dumb athletes are highlighted and the dumb fans are forgotten (except for you, Steve Bartman. I hate you.) To summarize: fans are just as likely to do something stupid as an athlete... and there's waaaay more of them to deal with.

What am I getting at? Sports need to protect athletes from the fans - a quick look at any given years noteworthy "player-fan" interactions will show that it's generally a fan doing something stupid to a player (throwing beer, batteries... vomit if you're a fan of the Mexican National soccer team - seriously).  One way to do that is to, as the Offspring said "Keep 'em Separated"... at least during intense moments.

One of the most intense moments in sports is the on field/court/raceway-fight. In baseball, this moment occurs relatively far from the fans. In basketball, this fight occurs in a much closer proximity to the fans, say, within the length of a beer that could be poured on a guy like Ron Artest. Once fans get to be involved in the fighting festivities, all bets are off. So essentially, baseball will allow MLB'er-on-MLB'er crime, as long as the violence doesn't spread from the inner-city infield to the suburban seats.
 
This isn't to say I wouldn't put it past a cat like Milton Bradley to go into the stands and go all  "Michael-Douglas-in-Falling-Down" on some drunk assh*les.
 
- C.L.

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I just opened up a match.com account. Any ideas for a good screen name?
 
Ray
Denver, CO
 
Ray,
I think the key with any dating screen name is to be subtle, but make a point; something about you or things that you like. For example, if you're a person without an STD, "Condoms-are-for-sailors" could be a good name.

A name like "Private Parts" may catch the eye of those servicewomen you've been eyeing. Or, a name along the lines of "Chloroform-N-Rope" will let the ladies know that you mean business on the first date... and that she probably shouldn't dress like "'no'-means-'yes'" around you. Also, anything followed by the number "69" is a subtle, classy way to let the ladies know that you're not scared to be intimate.
 
Happy hunting,
- C.L.

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Question for Clayton? Comment for the world? Get at him @ clayton.lovett@thecheckdown.com